Why is massage for women frowned upon?

It's an open secret that most of my married friends' husbands go for massages at those cheap Asian joints. And of course, we all know what follows those sort of "massages." I'm sure there are plenty of legitimate Asian massage therapists, but not these places. While everyone turns a blind eye to this, why is massage for women frowned upon? Why can't I get a perfectly tame massage without everyone telling me I'm pampering myself? I'm not the pampering kind of woman. But I do suffer from fibromyalgia, and I would like to get massages more often. If my husband went to those seedy spots, I'd divorce him. I don't need him coming home with some exotic disease that came into being on some dirty sheet. 

It's not like I have a problem with him getting massage. couples massage would be fine. I'd actually love getting a massage with him right next to me. But so far, every time that I mention the possibility, he shoots it down. I've had my share of massages, and I know it would be a lot more fun with him next to me. If you get the picture of a marriage in distress, you've hit the nail on the head. We are cordial. A peck on the lips before and after work. But we aren't so close mentally or emotionally. Romance with him is not the best. He always seems distracted and too eager to be done. I know this is the classic joke about men, in general, but with him, it's ridiculous. 

So back to women's massage. Since women aren't very likely going to go to a place to get any sort of ending, happy or otherwise, why does everyone make it seem like a woman shouldn't be getting a massage? It's OK if I go shopping and spend a thousand dollars on slacks and bathing suits, but to spend a hundred dollars on a massage? My Mom has told me it's a waste of money. Even though she knows I'm in constant pain from fibromyalgia. My sister laughs and suggests that my husband isn't taking care of me. When I told me neighbor that I like getting massages, she looked at me funny and made comments. Why? How about I chuckle and guffaw at her when she tells me she has to go to the physical therapist for her knee? How would she feel? It's just weird how even women perpetuate sexist stereotypes.

I'd actually love a massage right now. My back is killing me from typing. I've had to settle for a hot bath with Epsom Salts. Not quite the same. I think another thing about women's massage has to do with how women are told that childbirth is painful, breastfeeding is painful, life is painful. As much as men are painted as tough, it's really women, in my experience, who are made to suffer and just grin and bear it. It's a weird double standard.

If a woman needs help, she should be able to get it without eyebrows being raised or corny jokes. Maybe the root cause is how we all think about massage in the first place. I just watched Bill Maher talk about the Covid 19 shutdown. When he got to talking about massage, I was waiting for it. And there it was, a joke at the end of his schtick. Guess what kind of ending he made a joke about? If you guessed sad, you're just being annoying. Happy ending jokes are what makes massage for women seem like something we shouldn't be getting. Get over yourself and stop with the lame jokes!

Massage for women is something that isn't really part of our present culture. In the future, once sexism is truly dead, I'm sure any woman can go for a massage without any of the strangeness. She won't have to hide it from neighbors, family, and friends. Imagine that going to the dentist was cause for winking and poking someone in the ribs. That's what it feels like, especially because I go for medical reasons. My doctor even wrote me a prescription for massage therapy. But do you think that changed my mother's opinion of the matter? Nope. She doesn't even care if my  therapist is a man or woman. The idea of a female getting a massage is the issue. Somehow, we're meant to bear the pain. You know what? &*#$ that!